Start Seeing Diversity Blog: "We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

I have seen many times where a child will wait right until you get in a public place and say things out loud to embarrass the person and of course, you. Me, my sister and her little three year old daughter was in the aisle of the grocery store and two ladies walked up holding hands; my niece burst out and said “Y’all are just nasty because ladies don’t hold hands with each other.” Her immediately apologize to the ladies and she had her to apologize as well. She took her to the bathroom to let her know what she did was wrong for hurting those ladies feelings. She says to me “But mom ladies don’t hold hands with each other.” Her mom told her that she do agree with her but everyone do not have live the same lifestyles as others; so therefore, it is not for us to judge anyone; especially when the person is right underneath our nose. Her mom also told her next time if she were to see another couple holding hands, just smile at them. What messages might have been communicated to this child by the adult's response? The mother gave her daughter a talk about the people being different and people making different choices. Mother said that she explained to the child that she should not talk to the strangers. Then mom talked to her about being respectful of others choices because saying negative things about a person can easily hurt their feelings, and we do not want that to happen. By knowing the child, I am very sure that she understood that she had offended someone, and her mother is not appreciative of her choice of words. An example of how an anti-bias educator might have responded to support the child's (or classroom's) understanding As for me, I would first appreciate the child’s ability to speak up her mind. It is amazing how children express their observations and curiosity. I think the parent did the most obvious thing by showing the two ladies respect. However, children in their process of observation create their own unique explanations about what they see based on the cognitive tools they possess at the stage of development (Sparks, & Edwards, 2010). As educators it is critical that we create a rich learning environment, (anti-bias free environment) which will set the stage for discussion and open-ended questions to help children understand differences, and similarities in others. 

References

Sparks, L. D., & Edwards, J. L. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. National Association for the Education of the Young Child. Library of Congress, Washington D.C. 20005-4101