One recent conflict that I have experienced has been through my job with a parent. We have had a disagreement on the way of handling her child's misbehavior in the classroom. She feels as if her child is a perfect angle and never does anything wrong. I have explained to her the type of behaviors that he is displaying in the classroom such as, putting his hands on me and my TA, hitting other students, throwing chairs, falling out in the halls, sliding up and down the hallway etc... Before things had escalated I began trying several different strategies with him such as: sitting him in his own area on the carpet, giving him something to hold while on the carpet, if and then charts, rewards system etc. This is all things that I had suggested to to the parent and used in the classroom, but it seemed not to be working. After that I asked for some assistance from the behavior therapist and this again brought up and issue with the parent, but with further discussion Both the parent and I had agreed for the school therapist to come in and observe just so that she could gain so more understanding of what I was trying to tell her. Still the parent feels that everything that I was telling her was a lie. It got to the point where an emergency meeting was called and I literally had to get written documentation from other teachers that had assisted me with this student to present to the parent to show that hey everything that I am telling you is the truth. Once in the meeting the therapist Pretty much confirmed everything that I had been telling to the parent from the beginning to be true. From there I began to receive help in the classroom to better handle this child behavior, but at the need of everything the parent and I relationship is not good. It's like she was offended because I was trying to get help for her child. At the present time the relationship between the parent and I is copacetic and since the meeting there hasn't been anymore drama with the parent. The relationship between the child and I has grown stronger as well.
To help me continue to make this a positive relationship some of the strategies that have helped me are taking that of the Third Side. This will allow me to sit back and actually listen to everything the parent is trying to say, empathize and try to understand where she is coming from before I give any type of response. Also from the beginning of this situation I should have taken into account more of the three R's i would have been more considered and put my own feeling and judgments to the side so that I Would have been able to listening and empathise with the parent more so things would not have escalated as they did. Currently I think using the WIn WIn approach will be a great way for both the parent and I to share ideas and communicate better with each other.Has anyone experienced a situation similar to this if so what strategies would you suggest to help resolve this situation?
Tiffany, I can relate to the situation you were challenged with. Some parents are in denial when there is a concern about the child. Your choice to use the Third Side approach was excellent because it gives you the opportunity to breath, listen reflect and then respond. You showed empathic for the parent and wanted the result to be a win-win for everyone.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your post,
Shelia
Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteWhat you experienced is an almost everyday situation in a childcare center. Personally, I have had to deal with this type of conflict for many years because my center accepted children with disabilities. The range of disability went from speech to bipolar, the sad part of this is that parents are in denial of their child’s disability and always make it seem as if it is the teacher or the program fault. It is a touchy situation and must be handled professionally. I always make sure I record the child’s behavior this with the parent’s permission so that they can see first-hand what their child does on a daily basis. I was lucky in my county that we had a program in the school system that childcare programs could utilize called READY, this program observed, test, evaluate, and treat children with various disabilities. If you could not provide the adequate assistance, they would then refer the family for further professional help. However, on some situations similar to yours I have had to ask the parents to withdraw the child from the program. This was done to ensure the safety of my staff and the other children in the classroom. Good luck and stay the course with this child and family.